Clean Funny Jokes! > Funny Jokes > One-liners >

Pick a joke: Confusius - Dial 911 - How drunk can you be? - Politics - Cry & laugh - Rice - Great speaker

The best jokes most often are the one-liners!

A short joke is the best! Keep a joke simple and clean, this will make people laugh. A one-liner is the best example. Wise men or women are able to make a very funny joke in just one sentence. Read the really very funny one-liners!

One-liners, funny single-lined jokes

What kind of funny humor is a one-liner? A one-liner is a joke that is delivered in a single line. Are they as funny as a funny blog, funny clips or funny pictures? A one-liner is a joke that takes to its heart the principle that brevity is the soul of wit. One-liners are known for eliciting cheap, quick laughs, but they can become tiresome to audiences when used excessively by a performer. An example of moviestars using one-liners frequently is Arnold Schwarzenegger. One-liner jokes are still very populair, also by stand-up comedians.

More one-liners

Some really funny one-liners are:

  • Mitch Hedberg: "I haven't slept for ten days, 'cause that would be too long."
  • Steven Wright: "A friend asked me if I slept well. I said, 'No, I made a few mistakes'."
  • Jay London: "A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock."
  • "Do I have amnesia? I've forgotten."
  • 90% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • Spiderman: "Hey Shocker! How does your absorbency compare to the leading brand?"
  • "We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
  • Henny Youngman: "Take my wife. Please." (addressing an usher.)
  • "There are three kinds of people; those who can count and those who cannot." (best delivered holding four fingers)
  • "There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand the binary calculus and those who don't." (best delivered in print because saying "one zero" betrays the joke's punchline.)
  • Oscar Wilde, upon arriving at US customs 1882: "I have nothing to declare except my genius."
  • Dorothy Parker: "If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
  • Barry Goldwater: "If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream."
  • James Scott McEwan: "Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."
    See Wikipedia for more information about one-liners.

  • Home - Main page of Clean Funny Jokes! - Sitemap - Feedback